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fat girl rules the world
10 December 2010 @ 11:38 pm
I am doing something stupid right now. Right at this very moment. So stupid, I am ashamed to admit it.

...

I am downloading the update for a game to which I was once seriously addicted. I mean, not crazy addicted, but enough to piss off my family.

I'm just doing a free trial, though. Just ten days to have limited play ability and check out the way things are since the expansion.

Does that really count as falling off the wagon?

ETA:

After waiting forever for updates, I actually found myself really bored playing. Of course, I was just running around on low-level toons doing low-level quests and exploring the new cities a little, but still. I might play Alli-side a little tomorrow just to see the new Stormwind, but that will likely be the end of it.

I kind of feel like the illusion has lost a bit of it's power. Sweet.
 
 
fat girl rules the world
16 November 2010 @ 10:42 am
Dear Fantasy Writers:

I just wanted to let you know that you don't have to do an addiction story line in every goddamn show. It's been done. Done to death. I can no longer feel any sympathy for the character who has the addiction, because it's just a lazy way for writers to "make things more interesting".

And honestly? As someone who grew up with addiction as a prominent part of my family life? It just rankles. I've had enough, thanks.

Maybe you could work on character development or something.
 
 
fat girl rules the world
15 November 2010 @ 10:29 pm
Catching up on The Vampire Diaries. I'm kind of glad I can watch so much in a go...cliffhangers kill me. It's really good, just like everyone has been saying.
 
 
fat girl rules the world
01 November 2010 @ 06:47 pm
I always consider participating in NaNoWriMo, but am always too busy or lazy. So last night, when I had a strange but satisfying dream that involved not only a very sweet kiss but also a lot of gun play...well, I woke and said 'that would be a pretty neat story to do for that Novel Month when it rolls around.' At which point I realized it was, in fact, November 1st.

I think it might be an okay story. Let's see if I can write it.
 
 
fat girl rules the world
I've been struggling for words that can possibly describe how I feel about all these kids that have been killing themselves lately. Sad. Depressed. Despondent. Broken. They all describe my general state of mind, but none of them are really enough.

The thing is, I'm not gay. I've had a lot of gay friends, grew up watching gay-themed movies without even knowing it was unusual (Didn't everyone's grandma have 'Victor/Victoria' and 'And the Band Played On'? Didn't all moms watch 'To Wong Foo', 'Rocky Horror Picture', and 'Fried Green Tomatoes'?), been bullied for being gay, and kind of grew up feeling like it was just a matter of time until I discovered my inner lesbian. (Instead, I discovered that my inner heterosexual was just waiting to come out, but my outer oddball was here to stay.)

When I see the pictures of these kids who gave up, something in me breaks. I just don't understand. I don't get why people have so much hate in them, how there is even a debate about whether sexuality is nature or nurture. Aside from the heaps of scientific data, who in the hell would chose to be gay? How can anyone think that a single one of those boys wouldn't have been straight if he'd had the option? Not because there's anything inherently wrong with being gay, but because society makes life so damn hard for those who are.

It's pathetic and it's wrong and I'd really just like to wring the neck of every person who labels their own hate and bigotry as God's will. I have a sneaking suspicion that God, if such a being concerns himself with human affairs, would feel the same.

...I guess I'm done talking about this tonight. I'm just so angry about the whole thing.
 
 
 
fat girl rules the world
23 September 2010 @ 12:38 am
I am doing all sorts of fun things, foremost of which is writing. At the moment, I'm writing a script for a silly/fun short film that will likely never be made. Next, I'm thinking romance novel. At least I'm doing something rather productive. I just need to switch my focus off unproductive things, methinks. And unproductive people.
 
 
fat girl rules the world
20 June 2010 @ 10:56 am
I am impossible to live with.

This is the only possible conclusion. A month in, and I am on both my father and step-mother's shit lists. Of course, they are being very passive-aggressive about the whole thing so it took me a while to be sure they were really angry with me. With Mom, the passive-aggressive stage lasted a few hours before she'd blow up at me. It has been several days here, which makes me nervous. I mean, the longer you bottle it in, the bigger the blow up, right?

I am having a hard time with this. I've just moved to a new state and am basically being asked to change my personality to fit those around me. I don't know how to do this, and I'm a little overwhelmed.

I think the solution is to save up, pay off what little debt I have, and get my own place. It's just a matter of getting there.
 
 
fat girl rules the world
11 May 2010 @ 12:47 am
So, anyone who knows me knows I have problems with my mother. Eh, what woman doesn't, right? Anyway, after years of dealing with her drunken accusations and being treated like her personal piggy bank, I'm out of here.

I'm moving away on Friday. My father is letting me stay with him and save up some money. It's a really great opportunity, and it'll be nice not having to worry about money for a while. A little scary, but I'm super excited.

The thing is, though, that my mom is trying to squeeze as much extra money out of me in the eleventh hour, and making every step as difficult as possible. The way it's looking, I'm going to take over a contract that the three of us entered together, which she now has decided was all my idea and I somehow pressured her into doing. I've already been paying more on it than I originally agreed to, so I'm thinking I'm going to take it over if they'll let me and pay it off as soon as I can. I know it will be well over a thousand dollars. The bright side is they're off my cellular contract, and I'm hoping if I offer to take over the gym membership she'll forgive the $400 I owe her, since I will be paying so much more.

After this is over...I doubt I'll keep contact with her. I know, I know, that makes me a horrible person. But I've been dealing with her baggage for years, and she'll just keep dumping it on me if I let her. I can't. I need to let go of this, need to live for myself.

I should go to sleep. I'm just torn up about this.
 
 
fat girl rules the world
12 April 2010 @ 01:23 am
I am happy to say that although--like many Doctor Who fans--I was skeptical about the new, post-Tennant era, Matt Smith has stepped into the role of the Doctor without missing a step.

Before I saw the two new episodes, I watched a promo for the new series. The tagline was "The end is just the beginning". This made me happy because I was actually a bit upset with how RTD ended Tennant's Doctor: like it was the end of the Doctor himself, which was a bit rich for a guy who had only controlled the show for six of it's almost fifty years. Sure, they were great years, and brought Doctor Who to bigger international limelight than it had ever seen, but it was just a piece of a body of work that belonged to so many people, and would be handed down to others in turn.

One thing I do hope will come with this new era: I hope that Smith will make the Doctor his own more than he has thus far. He's still growing into the role, but I do hope he moves a bit farther away from Tennant's Doctor. He seems like he'll be great.

Overall? Glowing with happiness.
 
 
fat girl rules the world
06 February 2010 @ 11:29 pm
I just read a novel about Jane Austen...the Vampire. It was pretty awesome, and full of great lines and undead psychopathic literary giants.

I will read the sequel when it comes out, yes I will.